Carer stories from Fife

Becoming a carer

2011-08-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

Judith has written to tell us of her roller coaster ride into carerhood!

"I am a carer! I didn't ask to be one and I certainly didn't want to be one, but here I am. My journey started back in 2007....

My husband, David and I were truly the luckiest people on the planet when we were introduced to the most gorgeous and amazing 7 month old little boy who was to become our son, through adoption. Our life was complete. Our life as a family could begin.

I guess looking back at those early months there were signs that all was not well. We raised our concerns with health professionals who always assured us our son's development and behaviour was age appropriate. Being first time parents, with little experience, we didn't want to appear neurotic and accepted their reassurance, however the doubts lingered on.

As soon as our son was able to walk our life turned upside down and as he grew older the difficulties increased. Aggression, oppositional and inappropriate behaviour, meltdowns, hyperactivity, impulsiveness, toileting, sensory, social and emotional difficulties. the list goes on. At one point we were even asked to remove him permanently from a day care nursery as the staff couldn't cope with his behaviour. He was only 18 months old.

Earlier this year, just 2 weeks before his 4th birthday our son was diagnosed with ADHD and we are now beginning an Autistic Spectrum Disorder assessment process.

I can't begin to describe the emotional rollercoaster we have all been on. Personally, I am never far from an emotional breakdown. I have been so physically and mentally exhausted that I often wondered if I had the

strength to keep going.

I'm sure many, if not most, carers have felt as I have and often still feel. There are however, things that keep myself and my husband from 'going under' - the support of family, friends and work colleagues; the help my son receives from the professionals involved in his care and education and finally the support, information and encouragement we get from organisations like Fife Action on Autism, PHAD Fife and the Carers Centre.

I am not the strong, capable person that I was, but I am getting there. We still believe we are the luckiest people on the planet. Our son is still the most gorgeous and amazing little boy ever. We love him, we are proud of him and, as a family we are starting to embrace life once more."

Bill's Story

2010-07-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

Bill Ketchion, aged 76 from Fife, had been caring for three generations of his family: his wife, son and grandson when the pressure became too much. With his own health problems to contend with Bill was almost at breaking point when he first arrived at the Lottery-funded Carers Project. Now, after receiving the practical and emotional support from staff at the project Bill continues to attend the male carers group and also gives advice and support to other carers. He is among thousands of carers who are receiving support from the Fife Carers Project thanks to Lottery funding and says that the project has been a lifeline for him and his family. BIG's Investing in Communities programme will continue to fund projects though Supporting 21st Century life which has five updated outcomes. Key outcome:: Families with caring responsibilities are more able to cope and better connected to their communities.
You can watch Bill talk about his experience of coming to Fife Carers Centre and the help he got here by clicking here.

Difficult questions from young carers...

2009-11-25T07:25:00.000-08:00

Being a carer isn't all doom and gloom. There are often some very uplifting moments, some touching times and some downright laugh out loud ridiculous times. One of the memories that sticks out in my mind from the time my youngest neice Ellie was ill with Leukaemia and spending a lot of time in hospital and concerns her two older sisters who by necessity spent a lot of time with me. Out on an icy Boxing Day walk through the woods with Holly (age 10 at the time) and Hannah (age 8) I thought it would be a good time to give my counselling skills a bit of an outing and find out how they were coping with their little sister's illness, impending teenageness, and life in generalness. "Fine." said Hannah and skipped off into the distance to look for interesting things to look at under her magnifying glass. "Oh, Okay." sighed Holly. This was a bit more promising! I put my arm around her as we walked and spoke wisely and empathetically of how difficult it could be when you weren't sure about things and sometimes it might be that it wasn't something you wanted to speak to your Mummy and Daddy about but if she had anything she wanted to talk about, she could talk to me and I would try and help her. It was a beautiful aunt/niece moment (well I was moved anyway). As she shuffled through the fallen leaves and I gently asked her "Is there anything you're worried about or want to ask me about just now darling?" there was a pause, then "As a matter of fact Aunty Les, there is something I've been wondering about..." Yes! I braced myself as she gathered her train of thought "... what is an Endowment Mortgage Shortfall?"
What?!?
Those children watch far too much daytime TV!

Submitted by Lesley